Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Oh god it's open bar.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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