He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
