Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?

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(845): View more from New York

u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it

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(540): View more from Virginia

Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.

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(575): View more from New Mexico

You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.

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(240): View more from Maryland

the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process

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