My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
