Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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