No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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