Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
