Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
