So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
