was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
