that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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