Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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