Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
