dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
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I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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