she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
