I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
