you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
