Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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