craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
