I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
