Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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