He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
