4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
