Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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