She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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