walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
