I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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