Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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