I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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