i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
