I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
