WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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