Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
its liver damage thursday
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
