The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
well most of my day revolves around power hour
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
