There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
farters have to be the big spoon...
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
