the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
