problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
