I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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