i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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