Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
