its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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