i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
