I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
