Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
