Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Randomize
