So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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