I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
In America we eat man semen.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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