What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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