Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Where is the hickey?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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