Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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