My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
