didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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