apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
