So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Randomize
