Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
