I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
