You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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