What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
