$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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