Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
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