I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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