i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
