Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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