Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
