That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Drunk is a universal language darling
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
