I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I look better un-naked...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
