Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Someone came in the potted fern
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
