CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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